num yummy....

best I've ever had

time to vent ok?

Lots of depressing things running through my head right now.  For some reason, I am constantly beating myself up for a standard that I cannot live up to.

Tim says...

(or rather, tim keller says....)

I make gods in my life (people-pleasing is current) and when I cannot live up to that, the People-Pleasing god will not forgive me because he doesn't exist and it results in depression & sadness.  I have no one to forgive me of that when I've made it a god.  

I know that makes no sense at all.  I get it in my head and will regret typing this tomorrow because it is too confusing for my limitation of words, but this is the way it is.

Anyway, I'm just selfish when it comes down to it.  I really do care what people think about me and it winds me up & stresses me out.  

That's all.  Here are some recent things I'm working on for the next month. (I always say I'm working on them but I'm asking my husband to hold me accountable so maybe this fast will last.)  

• Wind it down... RELAX and stop getting so worked up.
• Cut back on the caffeine... it changes my personality, dude.
• No soap operas.... I know this is silly, but I will turn on the TV & blankly stare @ bad TV for at LEAST one hour a day.
• Stop checking people.com.... I love fashion & clothes... I cannot spend lots of money on clothes because I am not supposed to be materialistic... so I look @ gowns & cool outfits on People... then get tricked into the gossip & I'm tired of it.
• Read more... no people & no soaps will provide more free time.
• Become a gossip-free zone.... at work, I don't mean to.... but I get caught up in the gossip.  I think this is the most embarrassing because I've become the chief of sinners @ this.  No venting, no nothing.  I'm always going to go straight to the source.  Believe it or not, I HATE it... so it's terrible to sometimes hate what you've become.
• Check the Internet, like, once a day.  I'M WASTING SO MUCH TIME!!

So this is all.  I'm a bit down on myself & sort of coming to grips with some sin..... I'm done with all this venting now.  

I'm going to go watch Sermon#2 of the Songs of Solomon series with my beautiful bearded husband now.  I am blessed, really.

friday night

So last night was crazy!  There was a huge wave of storms heading right for Jamestown... we knew what to expect.  When the tornado sirens went off, my plan was just to go into my bedroom closet (no basement so it's the only safe place to go, I guess) and cover ourselves with pillows & blankets, but the man of the house decided we were going to the church basement.  We live just down the street from the church so it was going to take us 30 seconds to get there... but I was flipping out!  I gathered a blanket & three pillows and stood by the door, while Tim seemed to be taking his time to find his shoes & shirt.  I kept yelling, "Come on, Come on!" and he kept saying, "We're fine... we have a few minutes."  Then he decided he had to find a radio, but it was taking him, in my opinion, far too long to do that.  Then had the nerve to ask me, "Do you want a book?"  My response: "NO I DON'T WANT A BOOK... COME........ ON!!!!!"  haha, it was like a scene from a movie, I swear.  

Anyway, we went to the church basement & got under a bench w/our crazy dog who has no fear of storms.  Once the radio said it had passed, we came home.  We're not sure if it was a tornado or not, (a man was around our neighborhood trying to assess whether or not what happened was straight-line winds or a tornado... he hadn't come to a conclusion when Tim talked to him last) but we had huge trees just twist off and land on things.  My neighbor's swing set was crushed by a tree, fences were down, a huge tree in a lady's backyard had been completely uprooted.  What amused me, though, was the fact that next to the giant, uprooted tree on its side was a tiny, little bush with the the little store tag still attached.  

So that was my night.  We were also able to spend some time out w/our neighbors... in a small town, when a storm hits & people don't have power, we all come outside to assess the damage & hang out. 

:)

Courtesy of Acts

Some things to know about the early believers:

• They were devoted to Teaching, Fellowship, Sharing the Lord's Supper, & Prayer.
• They met together all the time.
• They shared everything they owned.
• They sold the things they owned to share with those in need.
• They worshipped at the temple everyday.
• They met in each other's houses for the Lord's Supper.
• They shared meals with joy and generosity.
• They praised God.
• They didn't consider possessions to be their own.
• They had a daily 3:00 prayer service.
• They prayed for boldness & courage... and God gave it to them.
• There was no poverty amongst them.

"There is salvation in no one else!  There is no other name in all of Heaven for people to call on to save them."    

Acts 4:12

p.s.

loved it!

valerian root.

I went & paid Bob a visit probably a couple of months ago... had him order me some valerian mint tea.  I am SUPER excited to try this, seeing as how when I've had it in the past, sleep is a breeze.  I need to find a way to nod off a bit earlier than I've been doing lately.  Each week when I get to Friday, I feel dead.  So here I go.  Steeped it for seven minutes... it smells a little crazy but will hopefully be delicious.  Asleep by nine??  That would be delicious.

zzzzzz

then & now

Logged into myspace today and was reading through the little blogs I would sometime post.  This one is quite fascinating.

In 1960, a bottle of Coke was 6.5 ounces.  Now, Coke offers a bottle that holds 20 ounces.

In 1960, an average serving of pasta was 1.5 ounces.  Now, a serving size is double that.

In 1972, McDonald's large fries were 3.5 ounces.  Now, large fries can feed three people.

In 1984, the recipe on a bag of Nestle Toll House semi-sweet chocolate chips made 100 cookies.  Now the same recipe makes just 60.

Courtesy of Fitness Magazine

speaking of cookies, I have some to make today for a church cookout tomorrow.  I've decided I'm going to read through Acts to see if I can begin to paint the right picture in my mind of what a church should look like.  ta ta for now.

have i mentioned i love quotes?

You're never whole once you struggle with idolizing perfection. Anytime you allow something to be a little god in your life, (...I think...) you'll encounter struggles with it for the rest of your life.  I am not whole, but praise God I am new.

a favorite of mine that aided in a lot of healing.  

"A clone of the shapeless, androgynous models, the hairless, silicone-implanted porn stars. Somehow we, in defiance of nature, would have toothpick thighs and burgeoning bosoms, buns of steel and dainty firm delts. As Andy Warhol wrote, 'The more you look at the same exact thing...the better and emptier you feel.'"

-Marya Hornbacher, Wasted