It has been a long time. Too long, in fact. As I lapse in my commitment to spend time with God each day, I feel further from His presence. I cannot stress enough the importance of intimacy w/our God. He longs to meet with us. I know this not only because the Word tells me so, but also because I can feel it. For two weeks I met with God regularly. in those two weeks, I could feel the Holy Spirit giving me strength, peace, wisdom. Then I found myself busy with trying to get the house ready to put up for sale and I started to spend my spare time selfishly. Over the course of these last few days I've been worn down and burdened by the changes to come. I've fretted and complained about almost every obstacle in my way- from the customers at Starbucks to my friends and family. Wednesday the Holy Spirit gave me some insight and wisdom to share with my junior high girls (ironically enough, it had to do with this very issue) at Old Union, which I was incredibly thankful for, but beyond that I've been without. The happy ending to this story, though, ends with grace. A God who forgives and sanctifies. A God who welcomes back His prodigal child and prepares a feast for her. A God willing to love the unlovely.
some journal entries are dying to fly out of your head and onto a piece of paper. i don't have the discipline to journal everyday, but every once in awhile i get the urge and find later that it was truly therapeutic. the day i wrote this i remember that i started to sit down to read my bible after several days of not doing so.... i felt so empty and broken and sad that i'd yet again neglected my relationship with God. (i feel this depression comes once you've made an attempt of spending real time with Jesus on a daily basis for a long period of time and then lapse into lazy, old, and selfish habits.) near the end of my entry, God reminded me who He really is, which makes up for who I really am. i think this shows at the end. i had no intention of ending on a positive note, but that is the gift that God gave me.
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