um.

this is AMAZING.

(double click so you can see the whole thing)

this week

i have a LOT to do this next week.

today: church, yoga, clean my house for the kids coming over tonight, straight to work

tomorrow: be at work in the morning, work till 6:45 (meetings & a long day!), yoga, shower, bible reading, then bed because i have to open the next morning

tuesday: open at work, go shoe shopping and grab something to eat with my soul mate, come home, eat dinner, yoga, bible reading, bed

wednesday: work 8-4, maybe have time to come home and do yoga but i'm not counting on it, i'll probably need to clean my house, then we have youth group that night. need to go to bed early because i open on thursday.

thursday: i open and work until 10. i have a hair appointment at 3. (new person... wish me luck!) i have worship practice at like 7:30 at church. i'm going to really try and go to the gym that day (haha!) and tim and i will reallly need to practice our song for the wedding. he can't be at the rehearsal dinner on friday, which makes me nervous, because we won't be able to practice the song for them then AND we won't be able to practice our dance down the aisle! i am crossing my fingers... maybe we can go to church and practice this day.

this may not seem like a whole lot, but somewhere in there i have to not completely destroy my house with my lack of time, and i already feel so behind on everything as it is. today is my 5th day working in a row... and i have 4 more to go. it helps me to have everything planned out, that's for sure. one of the reasons i was so motivated to not waste time the other day was because i knew 9 days in a row of work meant that i'd have to be very careful with my time in order to get things done. wish me luck!

oh, and why all the yoga? this coming weekend, it will officially have been 3 months since i have last seem james my chiropractor!! yay for me!

with regard to time wasting...

lately i wish so badly that i could be deep and share something important.

but deep i'm just not at the moment and so i'll continue to be self absorbed.. even though this is sort of a journal and it's how you're supposed to be when you write a journal...

I'MGOINGTOSTOPAPOLOGIZINGFORTHEFACTTHATMYBLOGISNOTCOOLANDISINFACTAJOURNAL!!!!

haha ok anyways...

today i made a pointed effort NOT to waste my time. there were a few things that i did to help this.

after i completed a task, i made a mental note of where i was at in my day and what i needed to do next. it really helped!! i didn't dilly dally and found myself to be more efficient than i usually am.

i also didn't plop down in the computer chair with my work clothes on. our computer room is FREEZING and i end up being really cold and lazy and don't want to do anything anymore. cold+lazy=lethargic. so i came home, put all my work stuff away and took nash out to potty, picked up his poop (don't even ask me to start on THAT topic), took all the dirty towels out to the garage, put all of my work stuff away, placed my book and Bible in the place i'll need them later when i want to read them, put my gym stuff up, changed into my workout clothes, and did yoga. THEN i checked my email & such. brilliant!

i've been consuming nutritious foods for the past few days. i know this doesn't seem like a way to be frugal with your time, but i'm telling you... i have a major mental focus when i've been eating the healthy foods. (haha, i accidentally just spelled that "foos") i'm just clearer and i really like it. now i also like sugar almost as much so talk to me when lent's over.

i did yoga. see above for the reason this helps me save time.

i did some dishes BEFORE dinner and now i have clean counters which will help me stay organized while i make dinner.

right now i am planning my exact first steps to making dinner so when i'm done with this, i can go right at it!

there were some other things but i can't remember them at the moment. it feels good to be efficient. i hope i can keep up with it and lose my lazy streak. my mother in law said the other day she has to limit herself to getting on the computer and surfing to once every four days. she said, "it's almost sinful so i have to be careful." i remember her saying the same thing one time about soap operas and how she had to give them up. she is a pretty wise lady and i swore off the soap operas. (every once in awhile i'll switch them on while i clean house or am taking a nap.. but that's all!!) so now i just want to be a better steward of my time.

now i get to look forward to working at being a better steward of my money once this is mastered!

uhhhh...

hold on, i gotta put some chicken in the oven!

alright, much better. i was getting too cold!

so tiffany i have a confession, i cheated sunday. and then i may have cheated another day but i don't know if the other day counted b/c i honestly forgot. sunday i was emotional and my hands looked a hot mess and they were soooo inflamed so i at a maple scone. tim said it doesn't count because it's a scone and he doesn't consider that a dessert, but i do because it is covered in icing. then another morning at work i was hungry and some coffee cake had to be marked out (BUT in my defense it was verry berry and so at least it had fruit in it... right.) and i absent-mindedly took a bite and that was it... then i realized later that it was lent and i was a failure. so then i had a CRUMB from a classic coffee cake and one LICK of icing from a lemon loaf. i'm blaming that on my sugar withdrawl. remember that story that i told you about not eating enough and waking up the next morning with an empty bag of goldfish by my bed and goldfish all over my stomach with no recollection of what had happened? well i think it was sort of like that. then another day i was in all or nothing mode and had a couple of chocolate covered peanuts and was about to say "screw it" with lent (this was like day 6, i think) but tim told me to go get goldfish and not to bring any treats back with me when i went to the IGA for pancake syrup. and i didn't.

i'm here to tell you now that i am reformed. i repented and extended a few days at the end of my lent sentence. even though i messed up i'm going to stick with it... i think there is beauty in that. even if it is just scones and chocolate covered peanuts, ultimately, isn't it about redemption and new beginnings? it's getting a little easier now. at church on wednesday, someone brought a melted chocolate centere WARM bundt cake (kind of like the molten bundt cake from barnes & noble.......mm i think i just sinned thinking about it) and some of the women were like, "eat it, you already screwed up" and other women were like, " mmmmmm this is so good" (making love to their forks i might add). but i said no, ate my apple and drank my passion tea with eight pounds of cinnamon powder and listened to jesus.

ps this is why i hate women

thought i should share and think you should share. if you haven't messed up please continue to be better than me. if not, come clean.

haha

well that's all for now. love you world and goodnight.

dear tazo

dear tazo,

you have changed my life with these new full-leaf teas of yours.

there were so many before i ignored:

REFRESH.

chai

passion!

...calm...

and now something new to discover

orange blossom

vanilla rooibos

and then the ones to love even more

earl grey

ZEN

china green tips

thank you so much for saving me from all of the coffee induced comas

i would have struggled through without you

thanks for sitting by me as i try to warm up in the cold computer room

even more thanks for warming my belly

keeping me healthy

and being an experience

i am a dork

and yet i don't care

i will forever profess my love for you!!

(and your colleagues of course)

probably the most pointless entry ever

but i feel like saying hi to maybe the two people who look at this.

hi!! :)

ok now that's outta the way i'm just going to ramble about some things to look forward to/going on/whatever.

1. rachel & tyler get married soon (!!!) very excited about that. we spent some QT with them last night and it was great. feels good to have a young (soon-to-be) married couple to hang out with that loves jesus as we do.

2. rachel's mom's makin' us jewelry which is pretty sweet and hopefully i'll get my dress soon.

3. hannah's taking rachel's pictures for the wedding which should make the day even funnER.

4. tyler is giving his groomsmen fedoras for dancing down the aisle in. fun day. fun times.

5. my hands are still jacked up. don't know what's wrong with them but DON'T whatever you do look at pictures of eczema online. it will freak you out how bad that crap can get. you just might happen up on an "eczema buttocks" picture that you NEVER EVER wanted to see. EVER. it's only super bad when i'm still and relaxing and guess can notice it. so i'll be busy until i can get in to see the dermatologist.

6. i have monday and tuesday off. i hope i can get an appt monday. but today is my friday. TGIF!

7. i had ham loaf today & i love ham loaf.

8. i'll be singing with the praise team next sunday and i'm super excited.

9. each day this week i'm going to get up at least 15 minutes early (15 minutes minimum for my opens) to read my bible and pray. i know it's small.. not much time... but it's a way i'm trying to make daily devotions a priority in my life. i'm not so consistent and i want to be. i think this discipline will be good for me

10. 3:45 is earrrrrrly.

11. i like the people i work with on sundays. they make me smile.

12. i had a great morning with jesus @ church.

13. i'm a bit self involved today :)

lent and eczema

sweets

carbonated beverages

all fast food except for subway

PIZZA.

this is what tim and i are giving up for lent.

tiffany joined forces with the sweets and fast food...

so that will help with the accountability factor.

:)

i dont' think i've ever actually followed through

with a lent commitment before.

but i'm asking God to teach me a lot

in the meantime

and we'll see where this fasting takes me.

some may say "big deal you're giving up cake"

but to those of you know know tim, tiffany, and i intimately

this is a big deal we are giving up cake.

also,

i have eczema (i think)

that's what hannah's anthony thought other day

and my skin is itchy and uncomfortable.

i hope it gets better because i am getting crankier by the day

with all this itching.

page 181

I hosted a bridal shower this past weekend.

It was fun but I was overly anxious. Anxiety creeps up on me sometimes. It cripples my joy and causes me to question myself and my abilities. Occasionally I get a little angry with God for making me this way. Somtimes I find ways to deal with it all. A cup of tea. Some yoga the night before. I count on myself to deal with trouble. When really, all things are a gift from God.

I would like to start trusting in my Heavenly Father. I no longer want to expect that I deserve anything. In the past, I've been angry with God because of depression or trouble. I want to thank God in all circumstances... Like Corrie ten Boom did with encouragement from her sister Betsie as they were held prisoner at an extermination camp in Ravensbruck, Germany. (except my story will never even come close to being so challenging)

Even as they were crammed onto platforms of foul straw and being bit by fleas, Betsie encouraged her sister to thank God for what He had given them. As Betsie thanks God for the fleas, Corrie is astonished and says even God cannot make her thankful for the fleas.

""Give thanks in all circumstances,'" she [Betsie] quoted. "It doesn't say 'in pleasant circumstances.' Fleas are part of this place where God has put us."

And so we stood between piers of bunks and gave thanks for fleas.

Later on you read that the two women are able to witness to the other prisoners in their barracks. They regularly hold prayer services and translate the Bible for women in different languages. It is there that God leads countless people to Himself. They are puzzled how the guards leave them alone, seeing as how Bible possession and prayer is not allowed. How they managed to smuggle the Bible into Ravensbruck to begin with is an incredible miracle. Then they find out why the guards have left them alone to preach the Gospel:

the guards do not want to even enter the barracks because everything is so flea infested. The filth that Betsie and Corrie endure and thanked God for is the very blessing that allowed them to reach the lost.