It was fun but I was overly anxious. Anxiety creeps up on me sometimes. It cripples my joy and causes me to question myself and my abilities. Occasionally I get a little angry with God for making me this way. Somtimes I find ways to deal with it all. A cup of tea. Some yoga the night before. I count on myself to deal with trouble. When really, all things are a gift from God.
I would like to start trusting in my Heavenly Father. I no longer want to expect that I deserve anything. In the past, I've been angry with God because of depression or trouble. I want to thank God in all circumstances... Like Corrie ten Boom did with encouragement from her sister Betsie as they were held prisoner at an extermination camp in Ravensbruck, Germany. (except my story will never even come close to being so challenging)
Even as they were crammed onto platforms of foul straw and being bit by fleas, Betsie encouraged her sister to thank God for what He had given them. As Betsie thanks God for the fleas, Corrie is astonished and says even God cannot make her thankful for the fleas.
""Give thanks in all circumstances,'" she [Betsie] quoted. "It doesn't say 'in pleasant circumstances.' Fleas are part of this place where God has put us."
And so we stood between piers of bunks and gave thanks for fleas.
Later on you read that the two women are able to witness to the other prisoners in their barracks. They regularly hold prayer services and translate the Bible for women in different languages. It is there that God leads countless people to Himself. They are puzzled how the guards leave them alone, seeing as how Bible possession and prayer is not allowed. How they managed to smuggle the Bible into Ravensbruck to begin with is an incredible miracle. Then they find out why the guards have left them alone to preach the Gospel:
the guards do not want to even enter the barracks because everything is so flea infested. The filth that Betsie and Corrie endure and thanked God for is the very blessing that allowed them to reach the lost.
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