gotta tell ya...

despite the angry, woe is me attitude shared in my previous post,

i'm feeling good today.

i don't know if it's the fact that we've had sunshine these past two days

(definitely deserved after Snowpocalypse 2011, might i add)

or the fact that husband has been making me take

my good old Vitamin D supplements again

but i felt good today.

so much of my life is directed by how i feel,

what emotion is going on in the moment.

i hate this about myself.

i realize that my feelings and empathy are somewhat of a gift from above

but i also realize when left unchecked,

they rule my life in a way most unhealthy.

i long to be like my new hero, dietrich bonhoeffer

without lacking emotion,

he managed to live his life not driven by emotion.

he didn't fail to remember reason.

(as hitler was slaughtering everyone)

i believe my previous addiction to caffeine

and my current addiction to sugar

come from desire to feel good and excited about everything.

i'll learn to get better at this.

day by day.

but winter time will always be the death of my reason and strength.

solution: move to phoenix, arizona.

who's with me?!