Tim says...
(or rather, tim keller says....)
I make gods in my life (people-pleasing is current) and when I cannot live up to that, the People-Pleasing god will not forgive me because he doesn't exist and it results in depression & sadness. I have no one to forgive me of that when I've made it a god.
I know that makes no sense at all. I get it in my head and will regret typing this tomorrow because it is too confusing for my limitation of words, but this is the way it is.
Anyway, I'm just selfish when it comes down to it. I really do care what people think about me and it winds me up & stresses me out.
That's all. Here are some recent things I'm working on for the next month. (I always say I'm working on them but I'm asking my husband to hold me accountable so maybe this fast will last.)
- Wind it down... RELAX and stop getting so worked up.
- Cut back on the caffeine... it changes my personality, dude.
- No soap operas.... I know this is silly, but I will turn on the TV & blankly stare @ bad TV for at LEAST one hour a day.
- Stop checking people.com.... I love fashion & clothes... I cannot spend lots of money on clothes because I am not supposed to be materialistic... so I look @ gowns & cool outfits on People... then get tricked into the gossip & I'm tired of it.
- Read more... no people & no soaps will provide more free time.
- Become a gossip-free zone.... at work, I don't mean to.... but I get caught up in the gossip. I think this is the most embarrassing because I've become the chief of sinners @ this. No venting, no nothing. I'm always going to go straight to the source. Believe it or not, I HATE it... so it's terrible to sometimes hate what you've become.
- Check the Internet, like, once a day. I'M WASTING SO MUCH TIME!!
So this is all. I'm a bit down on myself & sort of coming to grips with some sin..... I'm done with all this venting now.
I'm going to go watch Sermon#2 of the Songs of Solomon series with my beautiful bearded husband now. I am blessed, really.
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